Truths Part 1

New Beginnings.
Not something that everyone expects to chose or to happen, sometimes it just happens.. I now remember though, asking G-d to renew me, to make me new again. I didn't ask him to do this just once, but I asked him several times in several different ways. You know, he does answers prayers. You just may not understand that capacity of why it has come to you in that manner it has but it none-the-less an answered prayer.

Before this all transpired I had a Firm Belief in G-d. After this all happened I know G-d. There is a significant difference in Believing in G-d and Knowing. A Belief can be waivered even if it is one that you have had your entire life. A knowing there has to be more proof in order for that it be waivered.

As I have grown in the truth of G-d there have been many questions that have come to mind. Some of them more so because I have been able to surround myself with like minded people. Where I have been able to express myself and then challenge myself. A renewed Spirit for Truth.

One of my pet peeves in life is lies. It is something that I have a very difficult time with. Yet, society allows it all too readily.  From things that we have been conditioned to know since we were little to where we are now. What we spew out of our mouths or what we write is just that, open for someone to debate this own beliefs. However, a Belief is Very different than the truth. It maybe what you were taught as it should be true but it doesn't mean that it is true, it was a conditioned thought put in our minds by someone of respect. Does that make sense? For example. The people of the world were told that the earth was flat. That literately believed that if they traveled beyond a certain point that they would fall off the ends of the earth. That Belief was so strong and the fear that surrounded that encompassed the masses as not wanting to explore beyond where there were told. Then, someone did. It was discovered that it was round. Columbus was living during the time that the world was flat and the ocean was filled with Monsters. Yet, he traveled to the new world and discovered that it must not be flat and there were not the so called Monsters in the seas as they thought. Although I can imagine that a whale would look alot like a monster that would scare anybody at that point in time.. The lie which was a truth had to be proven that it wasn't as such. My pet peeve of lies is that I have known later that Yes, I have lied. We all have done it. We can say no we haven't yet we are warned that we will lie and commit other sins as well. The Honor is in recognizing that it is a lie and choosing NOT to live in that  lie again.

We are all conditioned in life to believe what we are told by our elders. It is one of respect and honor. I do not know of a culture anywhere in the world that is not conditioned this way. Now, at a certain point there are people that begin to question their conditioning earlier than others and there are some that will never question their conditioning as that is just not something that you do. A person whom questions their conditioning is not necessarily looking for the loop holes but they are looking for the complete understanding of why. I know that my Great Grandmother was my Matriarch in life.  I do not ever remember her ever speaking an ill word towards another human being. It was of her generation that if there was an issue it certainly wasn't discussed in front of a child, they will have time enough to learn how to deal with those such things. As she taught me how to make the chewy chocolate chip cookies and other items that we baked. She also taught me how to be kind and loving to all those around me. Somewhere in there, I believe she instilled in me the power of being positive and looking on the bright side of things. That has somehow cared throughout my whole life. That love and respect for others. As such though if someone acting like my Great Grandmother I would automatically give them the curiosity that they would act the same honorable way she did. I was wrong more than once. I have not regretted that, as it taught me valuable lessons. Not ones of taint and mistrust but that I needed to be more aware in life.

We all have moments in life that can define us or transform us into different people. I firmly believe that if we allow each moment to transform or define us into being someone negative we will condition ourselves to do so. We shall fail as that is the mind set of a negative person. They prefer to fail. Those that are positive chose to take those moments to reflect and go over and go over yet again and take responsibility for their own actions that were a cause and effect where they are going and Constantly strive to do better. They have an easier time saying that they are Sorry for their mistakes and strive for understanding in this world, which means looking for solutions instead of creating problems.

As I travel forward, I am challenged to look at the very root of my life. The foundation. I wants truths. I already know that G-d walks with me. What is it that I do not understand is the why. I remember now, that when I was younger I asked who wrote the Bible. Of course I got the standard answer. Something to the effect that people wrote it for G-d. As I got older I wondered why there were so many Bibles. Of course I got the standard answers of so that there were ones for helping others understand more.. Then I asked where are the real translations, which I never got a true satisfied response for. It was wide and varied but still within the comfortable realm in which I allowed at that point to be ok. None of them are truths.  As My favorite Bible is the New King James Bible, it is what I was given when I was confirmed. Only to find out that, King James bible was translated to suit King James of England, had it defined to suit him and his needs to have more control over his people. The  New King James Bible (NKJ)  however was then again translated by Arthur Farstad. Now, why would we allow our most sacred text to be depicted by some other ruler other than G-d above? I would call that conditioning as well. Which brought other questions to mind. What else was I conditioned to believe? I remember stories of when Christ was born. Then the other stories of he was born in July but we celebrate it in December as that is when the 3 kings, wise man, found him. SO which is it really? Does it really matter as the whole? The theory that the church made it on the 25th of December so that the pagan celebration of the winter solace would not be so celebrated. So was that a rumor as to derail Christians or is it the truth. If it was to help derail the Christians so that they wouldn't go after the pagan holidays is it not now a pagan thing within the Church as it is not Christs True Birthday but yet a lie?

As I've grown older and I'm not so impressed within the Church there are lies and supposively they are there to protect us. That we are not educated and knowledgeable within the works of G-d to have that much understanding. To me that is an oxi-moron, since the church's job is to educate and enrich our lives with the Holy Spirit, and what they are saying is that they are not able to do so. That their priests, pastors, ministers or whomever are more knowledgeable and they have a purity that the rest of us do not. We all know that isn't true. So while the Church lies to us and they are upset with us when we repeat the lies, are we not all doomed when none of us know the whole truth? Here is one source of information but are you ready for some homework as I am.. When was Jesus born? 

This all weights heavy on me as I Love the Holidays. I've not truly celebrated the holidays in many years as the circumstances in our lives had changed. Now, I chose to live life and suck out all the marrow in it.  I must find the whole truths and not be afraid of others and what they may perceive. As they had already had their minds up before you even spoke a word. It is not our job to make others understand the truths it is our job to have an understanding so that the truths will come to light.   As I do not want to disgrace G-d, but to have complete understanding in him and what his wants and desires are. To seek him in all aspects in life. To honor him as he has honored me in bring me back from the depths of the abyss.

We had developed an understanding in my weeks and months of recovery. When I had no such knowledge. I was created new as I had prayed he would do, just not in the manner I had expected him to.